Ang Paboritong Libro Ni Hudas

I came accross one of the bulletin boards and saw this post. I think we should give credit to the originator of this post which is, for the information of everyone, Bob Ong - from his book "Ang Paboritong Libro Ni Hudas". Check out the book - so funny! It only costs Php 150.00 at National Bookstore but sobrang sulit. If you're feeling mushy or down, this is the best book to read since it will make you laugh and even wonder if si Bob Ong eh tao nga ba?! Ibang level ang imagination nito.

Mga Pamamaraan sa Pagpapatiwakal

I. Bago ang lahat, alamin muna ang tamang dahilan ng pagsu-suicide. Kung ang problema mo ay dahil lang sa iniwan ka ng minamahal mo, di ka dapat magpatiwakal! Hello?! Ang mundo ay tambak ng mga tao na pwede mong mahalin kaya di ka dpat mawalan ng pag-asa.

II. Ngunit kung desidido ka na sa gagawin mo at sa tingin mo ay meron kang tamang dahilan para gawin ito, ang sunod mong gagawin ay ang pagpili ng paraan nito. Ang mga popular na paraan ay ang pagbigti, pag-inom ng lason, paglaslas, pagbaril sa sarili at pagpigil ng hininga.

(Note: 1. Tandaan na maari ka pang mabuhay pagnagkamali ka sa pagsasagawa ng mga nabanggit, kaya pumili lamang ng isa na hiyang sayo.)

(Note: 2. Alalahaning dyahe kung pagtitinginan ng mga tao ang mukha mo sa ataul na mukha kang dehydrated na langaw.)

III. Sumulat ng suicide note. Eto ang exciting! Dito mo pwedeng sisihin lahat ng tao, at wala silang magagawa! Sabihin mo na di mo gustong tapusin ang iyong buhay kaso lang bad trip silang lahat! Pero wag ding kalimutang humingi ng tawad sa bandang huli para mas cool.

(Note: Tandaan na importanteng gumawa ng suicide note pra malaman ng tao na ngsuicide ka at hindi na-murder! Sa ganitong paraan maiiwasan ng PNP ang pagkuha sa kalye ng kahit sinong tambay para gawing suspect.)

IV. Pumili ng theme song. Banggitin ang iyong special request sa suicide note at ibilin na patugtugin sa libing.

(Note: Iwasan ang mga kanta ng Salbakutah! Jologs!! Dapat medyo mellow at meaningful.. para gayahin ng iba!)

V. Isulat ng maayos ang suicide note. Print. Iwasan ang bura. Lagdaan.

(Note: Ilagay ang suicide note sa lugar kung saan madaling makita. Idikit sa noo!)

VI. Planuhin ang isusuot. Isang beses ka lang mamatay kaya dapat memorable ang get-up. Pumili ng telang di umuurong o makati sa katawan.

VII. Magpareserve ng de-kalidad na kabaong. Maganda ang kulay na puti, mukang komportable. Huwag magtipid.

VIII. Pumili narin ng magandang pwesto sa sementeryo. Pumili ng di masikip.

(Note: Kung ikaw ay nabibilang sa Year of the rat, dragon, rabbit, tiger, beef or monster. Wag na mamili ng lilibingan sapagkat ang mga nabibilang sa taon na ito ay dapat i-cremate at gawing foot powder, para gumaan ang pasok ng pera sa mga naiwan.)

IX. Itaon ang araw ng iyong pagsu-suicide sayong favorite number sa calendar para masaya!

X. Kung naplano mo na lahat-lhat, magisip ng mabuti at paulit-ulit! Isipin na ang gagawin mo ay hindi kanais-nais at lubhang makasalanan! Pero pag desidido ka talaga... Good Luck!

Pinoy Henyo Na Fwends!

To my fellow bloggers, sensiya po. Ngayon lang ako nag-eenjoy mag-customize ng Blogsite ko since masyadong limited yung sa Friendster.

Mama Jing! - Hindi ka ba na-aaliw sa mouse cursor ko? Hehehe...

I'm really enjoying my new home... hayyy! Tagal nang walang practice sa hard coding... este... sa pagnanakaw ng codes?! Hehehe!

Anyways... I have a new baby right now... Alam ni Fwend Blue yan! Happy Fwend di ba? Marami-raming Skyflakes ang kakailanganin hahaha... Tapos pabibilhin mo pa ako ng Shih Tzu eh Skyflakes at kape na nga lang ako...

Mayu, nananahimik ang floor wala ka dito. Walang DCA na nagpupunta sa Mentor's Area. :þ

Fwend Mel, kakatouch naman yung testi mo. Hehehe... wag na iinum mangangate ka ulit. :þ

Madgee, mamimiss ka namin dito sa Makati. Goodluck sa Fitness First SM Fairview. Pagmakita ka namin dapat sexing Sadako ka na ha. :þ

Ano 'to?! Hindi na Blog kundi Friendster Bulletin oh mass email?!

*sigh* I miss Porkchop... gusto ko na tuloy ng dog. [Fwend! Si Max battered pet na?! Haha!] - Oh game! - Calls Waiting pero GO! Pinoy Henyo na tayo! :þ

Do you eat your boogers?

Moks asks me that question one afternoon when we were at h'place in Bulacan last weekend. It was a fun experience getting out from the usual stuff you do and meeting one of the important "it" in h'life...

His name is Porkchop but I think he will recognize you more if you call him Chop-chop or Cha. This doggie is adorable! I must admit I fell inlove with this dog the moment I saw him. Cutie-cute-cute!

He doesn't wanna be left alone. He will follow you wherever you go. If you're taking a bath he will just wait right outside the confort room until you're done. Geesshhh! *sigh*

Aww, I miss Porkchop already. I had a very nice weekend... and oh well, I do eat my boogher when I WAS a kid. :P

Start Anew

It was March 2005 when I started blogging online...
It was then when I decided to share my life, my boo-hoo's, my thoughts online...

It is March 2006...
It is time for the new change...
It is time for the new face...
It is time for a new home...

From now on you can reach me at http://lanskydgreat.blogspot.com

I Luuuvvv World Chicken!

So what's up with Lansky 'D Great?! Duh!

Calling all you bloggers out there... a lot of [good] things has been happening in my life lately but I cannot find the right words to put things into writing... *sigh*

Lemme just itemized these things and hopefully someone can help me create a blog in their very artistic-funny way...

FRIDAY - MARCH 17

I failed to meet my mentee... hala! I'm more focused on some other "work-related" concerns with my teammates. Nothing really special happened today.

SATURDAY - MARCH 18

I was just having fun with my teammates. I targeted 0 calls for the day but I did receive 2 calls. Arghh! Two calls in one day... not bad huh? We also played "Pinoy Henyo" - hahaha!

I went to Glorietta to have lunch with Moks at, as usual, World Chicken! Eversince year 2000, I've always been their regular customer and I luuuvv their food. I think it's Khe-Em who first introduced me to World Chicken.

Even with limited budget, we still went to Market Market to check out some stuff and watched "She's The Man". I swear that'd be the last time I'm going to watch a movie at Market Market!

Moks woke me up at around past 9PM and there on the carpeted floor - dinner is ready. Japanese/native placemat, fresh vegetable salad, fried porkchops, rice, drinks and three tangerine colored daisy's.

SUNDAY - MARCH 19

I'm suppose to attend the mass [kaso ang bagal magbihis ni Moks] so I just decided to go to Mega after lunch.

Khe-Em texted and asks a favor to accompany h'to get medcert at Makati Medical Center. So there we went, with Moks and Khe-Em.

MONDAY - MARCH 20

I had dinner at Mexicali with my friend Claudia and then went to Starbucks Greenbelt to have coffee [and my all-time favorite Strawberry Frap!] with her and another friend Ches and her sister. I went home past 12 MN.

TUESDAY - MARCH 21

I wasn't able to report to work due to my flu and on/off fever. I went back to Makati Med to secure another medcert and I just stayed home the whole day and doze off.

Hmmm... talk about monthaversary? I got another Cadburry Fruit and Nut - a poem - and a note. So simple yet so meaningful - again out of budget.

WEDNESDAY - MARCH 22

I still didn't report to work and I just stayed at Mok's place. I even almost forgot it's my father's birthday today. Wahhh! H'DVD player got busted so we don't have a choice - no not to purchase a new one - but to sleep the whole day!

THURSDAY - MARCH 23

Crap! I forgot to take my offline time. Geezzz! Good thing there's a lot of avail that day and I'm in the mood to take in calls. I'm even over quota for the day... hmmm 6-8 calls?! Hahaha! That's over quota for me dude!

After work, we went to a nearby building and submitted our resume... mentor's are still on the job hunting mode, if yah know what I mean.

Arghh... I lost my company ID!

Since we have to wait for an hour for the examination we decided to take our lunch. I received a text message from Khe-Em and h'just in Greenbelt and h'invited me to have lunch. We went to G4 and of course wherelse but had lunch at World Chicken [I luuvvv their cheese sauce and potato salad].

I went home [Moks' place] at about 2 PM and then the rest was a disaster. Wahhh! Moks knows what I mean. Everything's ok before the day ends except for the fact that I only have 5 hours sleep. :p

Lansky's Johari Window

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

You can get your own Johari Window, or contribute to Lansky's.

Monday Fully-Booked

March 6, 2006 - I had eleven and a half hours of sleep... OMG! I woke up 5:30 in the morning and yes, I'm starving. I turned on my PC to watch some videos or the early morning news in MUB (proud to be Kapamilya) and I heard my phone beeping... Thinking out loud, I did not set my alarm clock to 5:30 AM. Duh?! It's actually a phone call... someone's calling me! Lolz... wake up Lance!

It's Khe-Em calling me. He's just on his way home after work and he just called to confirm our lakad that afternoon. Moks woke up at about 6AM and joined me in watching the early morning news and videos of some sort. What a boring way to start my day...

Anyways, I thought of watching some DVD movie just to kill time. I made some hot choco both for me and Moks and watched Jersey Girl (I'm so outdated). The movie is good. I don't know if it was just my mood or if it's the movie that made me cry. Or maybe it's the relationship of the father and daughter that really touched my heart.

I purpose to go out by 9 or 10 to process some papers. Moks received a text message from a friend asking to accompany him to run some errands so we decided to go. We were at Glorietta with Moks and a friend Niel at about 12NN when I received a text message from Khe-Em to move the lakad to a later time and I agreed since I don't think I can make it on time too.

Then I received another text message from Baby-Ga. Another weird thing huh?! So I'm at the mall with a friend and Moks and I'm texting with Baby-Ga and Khe-Em. Lolz!

Anyhoot, it was past 3PM when Khe-Em and I are on the bus on the way to Quiapo. After almost an hour, we reached Arlegui and we're like bees jumping from one flower to another in search of our favorite DVDs. Khe-Em purchased Season 3 of Charmed and I settled with Complete 1-4 copies of Harry Potter Series. I also bought Walk The Line, Smallville Season 5 and Brokeback Mountain. Of course, being the Kylie fanatic as Khem-Em is, h'got another copy of Kylie's concert series.

It was almost 6 when we decided to grab something to eat so we went to Greenwich which is one of the decent fast food near Arlegui. We're sooooo tired! But we get what we wanted so it's fine. :D

I arrived 8PM at Moks place and we started watching some of Smallville episodes. I am still feeling sleepy and tired I decided to report late at work. Haha! I woke up 6:30 AM the next day.

Back to work...

Rainy Day Intensity 3

Never in my entire life did I expect to receive a bouquet of red roses accented with tangerine-colored ribbons (since that's my favorite color next to cyan) from someone. Talking about details huh?!

I went out with my team mates last nite and been awake for 24 hours straight. I need to rest and get more sleep since I have to report to work by 2:30AM the next day. It was 8 o'clock in the evening and I'm in the middle of my sleep when I was awaken by someone beside me and placed the bouquet of 12 red roses on my chest. I thought it's my housemate who did that and played the joke on me.

I was wrong. It took me a few seconds to realize it's Moks. All wet from the rain outside and to top it all, right after the intesity 3 earthquake in Metro Manila. I didn't even realize it.

So what can I say? Speechlessssss... This is the first time I ever experience someone treated me this special. Hehehe... record breaking event. I will not give any details as to what happened right after that. But I am sure of one thing... I am looking forward for a more meaningful days ahead with Moks.

(That's the actual pic! :þ)