20 days ago my life suddenly changed... natanggal yung bubong and, indeed, when it rains it pours. There are so many things I need to be thankful for and so many things I learned from the past 20 days.
I learned that we should not question whatever we're going through right now, no matter how difficult and challenging the situation is. I realized that God has a reason for everything. Like what I always say, it is a process that we have to go through because He is preparing us for our future. We don't have the right to complain, but we can always ask for His guidance, to give us courage and strength to go through it or work around it.
Before, frustrated ako sa job ko. Sa position ko. I know I can do more. I know I can offer a lot of things but no matter what I do or how much effort I exert, I feel like it always go unrecognized. Sure your friends knows you're underrated. Sure they know exactly how you feel. Sure they know what you are capable of doing. Pero iba pa rin kasi if you feel like your efforts are not recognized by those people outside your circle of friends. Those people who have the power to give you a promotion. Then the people around you gets promoted and we feel life is unfair. Nakakapagod... Napag-iwanan...
I am guilty of that feeling. It's very very frustrating. And it's soooo quarter life crisis!
Last year, I set a goal for myself. I need to get out of the country by first or second quarter of 2007. I will leave the bad memories of 2006 behind and start anew. Tumatak sa isip ko yung sinabi ni Shelly before when we were in outbound - "Kung anu man ang dumating sakin ngayon... tanggap lang ng tanggap." It's a very optimistic and positive attitude.
At last March 24, 2007 - a realization. I got the job I wanted. It opens a lot of things. An opportunity to get out of the rat race. An opportunity to start all over again and to correct the mistakes of the past. An opportunity for a brighter future. And it is all because of my current program. If not for the experience with the program I am with right now, hindi ko makukuha yung post. God trained me to be in this field to prepare me for a better future, for this opportunity. I am very thankful for that!
Pero hindi lahat ng gusto natin makukuha natin. Because of this opportunity I'm leaving a lot of people I love behind. Some who are so dear to me. Again, God is teaching me to be strong. And I have to be positive about this. Because I realized that not only He opened windows of opportunities for me, He is also using me to open opportunities for other people through me. All I have to do is to take good care of this responsibility.
Ngayon hindi na ako nagtatanong. Like Shelly... tanggap na lang ng tanggap. Hindi pa naman sigurado ang lahat. There is an other process I need to go through. This time processing of papers... both here and abroad. Madami pa ring pwedeng mangyari. Pwedeng hindi matuloy. Pwedeng hindi ma-approve yung papers. Pero whatever happens... tanggap pa rin ng tanggap. I will continue to wait until I realize my dreams. Nakakapagod mag-intay pero sabi nga nang nag-interview sa akin nung March 24, "Sometimes it pays to wait..."
It's true. From 8AM that day ako yung pinakahuling ininterview... at 1:45PM. And I left the office at 9PM. I stayed there for 13 hours... most of the time waiting. Interview, orientation, contract signing. Now, nag-aantay pa rin ako... pero may kasama nang ngiti.
45 minutes ago... I received a text from the office... sabi: "CONGRATULATIONS... You're FIT to work". I passed the medical exam sa standards of Singapore... konting antay pa...
"We cannot have everything we want in life...
but it's no reason to stop hoping for what we want."
