Change. Permanent. Change. Change is the only permanent thing in this world. How ironic. But I know that. It's true. What I don't get is WHY everytime there's change there's goodbye?
I welcome change. I hate goodbyes.
That is actually the reason why I'm friends with all my ex's - well that's another story. But what I am experiencing right now are drastic changes in my life that are too much for me to handle. A very wise man once told us that for you to succeed in any field, profession or industry - You have to have a strong WHY and willingness to accept CHANGE. Why - Change? True.
With people like me who value the time I spent with my friends, I sometimes don't welcome change for it means saying goodbye. Less time with each other. Less happy memories. Less laughter. Less fun. That is the reason why everytime I feel I'm having a good time with them I treasure it right at that moment. Because I know that you will never ever experience that same moment again. Even with the same crowd.
Happy moments are never repeated. It always change one way or another but it will never be the same. That is also why I sometimes don't forgive myself if I took things for granted.
I welcome change. I hate goodbyes.
That is actually the reason why I'm friends with all my ex's - well that's another story. But what I am experiencing right now are drastic changes in my life that are too much for me to handle. A very wise man once told us that for you to succeed in any field, profession or industry - You have to have a strong WHY and willingness to accept CHANGE. Why - Change? True.
With people like me who value the time I spent with my friends, I sometimes don't welcome change for it means saying goodbye. Less time with each other. Less happy memories. Less laughter. Less fun. That is the reason why everytime I feel I'm having a good time with them I treasure it right at that moment. Because I know that you will never ever experience that same moment again. Even with the same crowd.
Happy moments are never repeated. It always change one way or another but it will never be the same. That is also why I sometimes don't forgive myself if I took things for granted.
May 20 - that's the last time we all had lunch together - Mel, Blue, Jing, Shelly and Mayet. Same as usual, it's the best time of our shift where we usually share stories and laugh all the same. Why didn't I pay attention to the details. I could've taken pictures with them. I never thought that would be the last time we'll have lunch together on this campaign.
May 21-22 - Why didn't I joined their game when we were at the bus on our way to Batangas? I chose to be alone listenin' to MP3s where I could've spend quality time with them. I'm pissed right now! That could've been one hell of a fun trip if we're laughing our guts out to that silly game we usually play. Jing will just sing a line from a song and the others will just follow.
When we were at Laia, I chose to have lunch and dinner with my new team mates. If I only know that, still, I won't be given much opportunity to get to know them more because of these changes, I should've spend it with my true friends.
When I have an opportunity to leave with them, I chose to stay because I know we'll be friends forever - it's given. I just have to stay to give time to this great team to get to know each other for they maybe people I can also treasure together with my true friends - BUT NO - I was taken out from that team - worst, some of them were also transferred and most of us have a new TL. So what about the team work that we already have? The common goals that we already set? All of us are back to the first stage of team development.
I hate to be back to being a baby who's just trying to learn how to crawl or walk or talk. My 2006 has been a rough time for me career-wise - will this continue? Will I expect for more changes and more goodbyes? Will these drastic changes force me to make drastic decisions in the future?
This is really the first time I cried for "changes" happening to my career - this time it involves people I value so much. I was so brave to leave the other program before because of them. Now I am not sure if I'm brave enough to face this without them. For some reason the people who gave me strength and who knows how to push me forward are leaning to an opposite direction. Opposite to where I'm heading. If only we're experiencing change to a higher direction but NO - this is latteral - and I guess it's what hurts me the most.
And I don't want to look a few months back when we're still Warblades - It pains me even more - BIG TIME! Because like FAWKES, we're one Phoenix - our tears heal wounds and we're not afraid of fire - one TEAM, then we all turn into ashes - BUT HOW CAN WE BE REBORN FROM OUR ASHES IF RIGHT NOW WE'RE ALL SCATTERED?
When I have an opportunity to leave with them, I chose to stay because I know we'll be friends forever - it's given. I just have to stay to give time to this great team to get to know each other for they maybe people I can also treasure together with my true friends - BUT NO - I was taken out from that team - worst, some of them were also transferred and most of us have a new TL. So what about the team work that we already have? The common goals that we already set? All of us are back to the first stage of team development.
I hate to be back to being a baby who's just trying to learn how to crawl or walk or talk. My 2006 has been a rough time for me career-wise - will this continue? Will I expect for more changes and more goodbyes? Will these drastic changes force me to make drastic decisions in the future?
This is really the first time I cried for "changes" happening to my career - this time it involves people I value so much. I was so brave to leave the other program before because of them. Now I am not sure if I'm brave enough to face this without them. For some reason the people who gave me strength and who knows how to push me forward are leaning to an opposite direction. Opposite to where I'm heading. If only we're experiencing change to a higher direction but NO - this is latteral - and I guess it's what hurts me the most.
And I don't want to look a few months back when we're still Warblades - It pains me even more - BIG TIME! Because like FAWKES, we're one Phoenix - our tears heal wounds and we're not afraid of fire - one TEAM, then we all turn into ashes - BUT HOW CAN WE BE REBORN FROM OUR ASHES IF RIGHT NOW WE'RE ALL SCATTERED?
No comments:
Post a Comment